Dating apps post-date my dating life by many decades, so I’ve never paid them much attention. All I really know is that you swipe left or right, and this has become such a big deal it turned into a global meme. (I’m still not sure which is best, left or right.)
The other day, though, I read that one of the big apps—Bumble, which I assume is big because I recognize the name—is offering, or planning to offer, “friendship” matches.
No sex. No romance. Just friends… without benefits.
Honestly, I’m so pleased with that quip, I should stop here.
But I’ll go on, because that’s what I do. The piece where I found this, a very cool link-blog called As Seen On, pointed out that Bumble isn’t the only app doing this. Apparently, modern loneliness comes in many forms, not all of them romantic. Ochuko, the blogger, argued that generic loneliness is a bigger problem than our need to get laid (my words, not hers—she’s far less coarse). Her big takeaway: friendship isn’t as easily engineered as romance.
I’d dumb it down by saying that the urge to find sex is a primal, simple drive, which makes it easier to channel into box-ticking software. Friendship, by contrast, demands time, patience, and a slower, more organic process.
I hate that I just used the phrase “organic process,” but I can’t think of anything better. And I do think she’s right.
Also, As Seen On really is cool. I’m a paid subscriber. It gets me to read into areas I’d normally never go, like Bumble. But it’s also wildly relevant to my interests. The Palantir story in that free edition I linked to is the my dystopian shit I’ve read this week, and my reading list is dark.